It was long believed that those employing servants needed to set a proper example—in comportment, posture, standards of hygiene, even an expectation for weekly worship—as though such modeling was part of a worker’s remuneration. 

(It wasn’t.) 

Respect for ourselves guides our morals, wrote the 18th century Anglican cleric and Irish novelist Laurence Sterne. Respect for others guides our manners. 

(It didn’t.) 

Rising early so that they could lay tables before breakfast (and become invisible once the family sat down), retiring late after the cleaning and the laundry and the endless, labor-intensive preparations for another day, “respect” was no more in evidence than freedom, or individuality, or privacy of any kind. 

One Mistress proudly shared her view of domestic leadership by proudly describing her intention to interview potential workers by sifting their characters. 

A kitchen maid held rather a different view of this binary social regimen. 

One is half a slave, she wrote. One is never free.